Small Pox, polio, measles…all have been tackled by modern medical science and all roundly beaten. But some diseases remain a blight on society with the most destructive and debilitating being the curse of celebrity.
…but there is hope.
Although a full cure remains a distant dream scientists in Canada have managed to replicate the condition in laboratory conditions on normal members of the public.
In their seminal trial 100 people were fed 6 pints of beer each within a one hour period.
The results were startling, mirroring the behaviour and attitudes of many modern celebs.
It was observed that the subjects:
– talked excessively without making any sense
– became overly emotional
– couldn’t drive
– failed to think rationally
– argued over nothing
– refused to apologize when wrong.
The hope is that now the condition can be temporarily replicated a more complete understanding can be developed.
“It’s a dangerous and troubling development when the platforms that serve as gateways to information intentionally skew the facts to incite their users and arm them with misinformation,”
In a move designed to throw more toys out of their pram major labels are uniting to cancel upcoming albums from artists and bands that have any degree of talent.
To fill the musical void new albums are being rushed through by Paris Hilton and Kim Kardashian with more reality TV shows being commissioned to find more pointless, talentless wannabe’s.
One music industry pundit was asked for his reaction
“Yeah its true about Paris’s second album – pirate that you f**k**s”