The Jubilee

The Jubilee weekend was notable for the absence of Prince Philip at the side her Majesty the Queen.

After the triumphant river pageant the Royal Duke was admitted to hospital suffering from a bladder infection.

However some royal commentators have indicated that this could have been a tactical move by the palace to keep the gaff prone Prince away from Stevie Wonder.

Some of Philip’s best one liners:-

On why he opted to join the Navy, 1965:
“I didn’t particularly want to go into the Army – I didn’t fancy walking much”

On the recession in the 1980s:
“Everybody was saying we must have more leisure. Now they are complaining they are unemployed”

To a woman in Kenya who offered him a gift, 1984:
“You ARE a woman, aren’t you?”

To a British student, during a visit to China in 1986:
“If you stay here much longer, you will go home with slitty eyes”

To a Briton in Budapest, Hungary
“You can’t have been here that long – you haven’t got a pot belly.”

To a blind, wheelchair bound woman whose 8-year-old guide dog was by her side, during another walkabout for the Golden Jubilee:
“Do you know they now do eating dogs for the anorexic?”

To a teenage Bangladeshi at a youth club in London:
“So who’s on drugs here? … HE looks as if he’s on drugs”

To a class of deaf children sat next to a brass band

“Deaf? I’m not surprised with that bloody racket!”

To a Scottish driving instructor:
“How do you keep the natives off the booze long enough to pass the test?”

When speaking to a 13 year old boy who dreamed of going into space:
“You could do with losing a little bit of weight.”

To Elton John, his neighbour in Windsor, on learning that Elton had sold his gold Aston Martin:
“Oh, it’s you that owns that ghastly car – we often see it when driving to Windsor Castle”

Following a tour of New Zealand and Australia in 1968:
“As so often happens, I discover that it would have been better to keep my mouth shut.”

Personally I hope he gets well soon – the man is a comic genius.