U.S Air Force – Please Anonymous give us back our space plane!

The U.S Air Force have finally admitted that they have lost their new unmanned space plane and have pointed the finger at hacktivists groups linked to Anonymous.

The mission for the X-37B orbital vehicle was meant to last 9 months with the secret vehicle returning to base in December.
However the alarm was raised when hackers gained “full functional control” of key Nasa computers in 2011.

This quickly led to an internal review with the finger of suspicion falling firmly on hacking group Lulzsec. What followed was the swift mobilisation of international law enforcement and security agencies to arrest all members of Lulzsec across two continents.

However despite days of interrogation the location of the plane is still a mystery and the US government have had to finally admit that they’ve lost their prized spy tool.

Hackers take control at NASA
Space plane goes missing
LulSec arrests

iPad Honestly Disappointing…

In their second big product launch without Steve Jobs, Apple again kind of met expectations…well….just…

Although the newly launched iPad is a clear step forward in terms of visual quality and processing power it fails to revolutionise the crowded tablet market.

It has led to more rumours that the company has lost its creative direction since the departure of Jobs to God’s Own IT Company in the sky.

Apple have denied rumours that their recent recruitment strategy has switched from finding the brightest and best engineers and programmers to one centred around mystics, psychics and anyone with a talent for using ouija boards.

Source – Apple unveils new iPad HD

Putin – I’m Back!

In an emotional speech Vladimir Putin has declared victory in the Russian Presidential election, claiming that he has fulfilled his 2008 promise to the Russian People:-

I’ll be back

As protester took to the streets complaining about irregularities in the election protest international leaders have called for the result to be investigated.

Official Election Monitors have accepted that all candidates were able to campaign freely however they have criticised the choice of candidates available to the Russian people.

“The point of elections is that the outcome should be uncertain,” said Tonino Picula, co-ordinator of the OSCE mission.

“This was not the case in Russia. There was no real competition”

This has been seized on by the Kremlin “The Americans criticise our democracy for not having enough choice, yet look at what is happening in their election. The only thing likely to beat Obama is voter apathy!”

Source – Russia election: Police arrest 550 at city protests

German Tax Collectors Volunteer for Greek Duty

This weekend has seen renewed calls in Berlin for a foreign legion of tax inspectors to be sent into Greece to help route out corruption and make sure national coffers are filled.

Greek business men and wealthy individuals have raised Tax evasion to an art-form and Angela Merkel is determined that the Greek government should act to clamp down on dodgy practices.

German Finance Ministers have already identified around 160 retired Tax-inspectors ready and willing to relocate to Greece if asked. However there have also been calls in Germany to ensure the safety of any volunteers given the likely Greek public’s hostility to foreign bureaucrats. To this end the German government has not ruled out the use of defensive troops in support of reclaiming around £50 billion in undeclared income.

Source – German Tax Collectors Volunteer for Greek Duty