Dolly Parton arrested

In shocking fake celebrity news Dolly Parton has been arrested over the death of Whitney Houston.

Attention turned to the pint sized Barbie wanna-be once police realised that the death of Whitney would likely net Ms Parton millions of dollars in royalty checks.

Dolly penned ‘I Will Always Love You’ back in 1973, before it was covered by Houston two decades later for The Bodyguard.

As Dolly, 66, owns the song, she stands to earn a significant amount of money as the No.1 hit is expected to top the download charts.

Police sources were quoted as saying

“It’s all about the money, money money… once you find who has most to gain you normally have your culprit”

It is thought that Ms Parton needs the money to fund research into human cloning and brain transplantation after her efforts to halt the ageing process have reached the limits of plastic surgery and decency.

36 thoughts on “Dolly Parton arrested

  1. Well, anyone who has seen "9 to 5" knows Dolly is capable of murder… But she couldn't possibly drown anyone in a bathtub because her boobs would double as natural floatation devices.

  2. Ignore A Beer For The Shower, they have plebeian tastes. I, for one, would gladly be all up in dat GGILF.

    As is, Dolly Parton, oh you! Next she'll establish an entire city of biotechnology and steampunk clockwork gears in order to finally ascend to demi-goddesshood and with the perfection of such techniques establish herself as the true leader of all mankind.

    …I think I wrote a story about that one time. I forget.

  3. re: cross-browser element rotation
    What are you looking for? Animating the rotation, or just having them rotated? Both can be done using CSS3. Sure, most IE versions don't support it, but all other browsers are perfectly capable of them already. Just don't forget to add their vendor prefixes in the CSS! (-webkite-attribute, -moz-attribute, -o-attribute, and sometimes -ms-attribute for IE)

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