Who is Newt Gingrich?

R.gers asked a very good question on my last post – who are Mitt Rhomney and Newt Gingrich?

So for today’s post I thought I’d focus on Newt Gingrich who is currently in a life or death fight with Mitt ‘fantastic four’ Rohmney for the right to take on Super-bama for control of the world.

So here are a few satirical facts about the Ging:-

  • He started life as a Ginger Newt who surpringly got turned into the Speaker of the House when he got kissed by Sarah Palin
  • He fell in love with America to the point where he could no longer be faithful to anything else…including his three wives.
    “There’s no question at times of my life, partially driven by how passionately I felt about this country, that I worked far too hard and things happened in my life that were not appropriate…”
  • He took a break from politics to star in NBC’s The Event where he played James Dempsey – the head of a global conspiracy fighting against (amongst other things) the fictitious first black president.
  • He is a dedicated student of Bill Clinton, adapting his approach to openly have no ethics on any issue…and thus insulating himself from any future attack on the strength of his morals…
  • His policy ideas and popularity with Republicans can be summed up by :-

19 thoughts on “Who is Newt Gingrich?

  1. I'm so glad I randomly stumbled on this blog. I finally found someone who can skewer political events without going over the top or doing too little for the truly zany.

    Thank you!

  2. I hate this man. I hope people aren't serious about voting for Gingrich, he's morally disgusting in almost every way. Your style of humor cracks me up though. 🙂

  3. well if you can't vote for newt then there is nobody to vote for… blasted country of how many people, and this is the best crap we can come up with?

  4. I'm not even American, I don't get much choice other than hope Americans do the right thing and vote for the dude who won't completely obliterate the world. So right now, Republicans vote which Republican take on Obama in the Presidential election?

  5. newt and some others would like to risk obliterating the world. obama doesn't seem to mind either. funny stuff, especially that line about loving america so much he couldn't be faithful to his three wives:)

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